Without You
by hragsdale
Summary: AU. Beca Mitchell is in a slump, with her dreams falling through, a failing relationship, and more road blocks than she could have imagined Beca might just find something, or someone who can help her turn it all around. Mostly Pitch Perfect characters with a few OCs.
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys, so I used to write these bad boys like six years ago as hollyragsdale, but i stopped doing that. Anyway, here I am again, doing it again.

This is gonna be an AU Bechloe story, let me know if you guys are interested and I'll start working on chapter two!

Thanks!

'What do you say, Bec? Wanna grab a beer with us?"

"No, I'm good, thanks guys," a retreating back answered without pausing for thought. The girl who spoke turned around when she reached the sliding glass door in front of her. "You guys have fun though, I'll see you on Monday." She smiled at the group of men she was leaving behind her, threw her backpack over her shoulder, and pulled open the glass doors before stepping out into the warm San Diego air.

The sky was a brilliant orange, a stunning backdrop for palm trees, buildings and the occasional sea gull. The remaining heat from another sweltering summer day was gratefully welcomed after a long day spent freezing in frigidly conditioned air.

Beca Mitchell let out a heavy sigh as she made her way across the vast, now almost empty, parking lot to her waiting motorcycle. A black Indian Scout Sixty, glinting in the setting sun, one of the only things in her life that truly made her feel free anymore. She slung her leg over the side and slid onto the leather seat before looking back at the building she had just left.

Bryan's Mega Motorsports.

The lights had just flickered out in the glowing sign mounted on the building and the rest of her coworkers were filing out of the front door together, most likely on their way to Winston's where they would no doubt get into a large amount of trouble. She watched as the group of rowdy men disappeared down the block in the direction of a dingy string of bars, not a care in the world as to how much of a living hell they could, and did, make her life.

Beca worked in the finance department at Bryan's, a job she had accidentally landed two years ago with no experience or desire for the position. It was her job to make sure the sales crew had money for the bikes they were selling and she handled every transaction that occurred on the sales floor. It wasn't what she had come to California for, but two years later it was still a good job, with a steady income and a lot of benefits for a 21 year old just beginning her life in Southern California. That didn't mean it didn't have its downsides, and quite honestly the frustration of working with her coworkers was one of the biggest ones.

She pulled out her phone after a few seconds by herself.

**My queen 3 missed texts **flashed across her screen, she sighed again before tapping on the notification.

5:45pm: ugh worst day ever :(

5:59pm: almost time for you to come home!

6:00pm: come home now.

Beca's eyes flitted to the top corner of her screen and quickly read the time: 6:07pm before pausing to think. It wasn't that she didn't want to go be home with her girlfriend, but before she knew it she had typed out and sent her response.

6:07pm: stuck at work, might be an hour or two :(

Before she could even have time to feel guilty she shoved her phone back in its pocket in her backpack and zipped it up, putting with it any thought of her relationship.

She slid her helmet on and turned the key on the tank of her bike bringing it roaring to life. The familiar rumble beneath her brought with it a wave of relaxation as she urged the bike forward through the parking lot and toward the street. Just as she was about to get on the 8 freeway she pushed the button on the side of her helmet and waited for her bluetooth to power on in her ear.

"Call Stacie,' she commanded while she picked up speed and weaved her way between the cars all headed west together.

After a few seconds the chipper voice she was waiting for answered, "Whats up, Becky?"

Beca smiled to herself as she raced down the 8, the warm wind whipping her denim jacket around her body, "Can I come over?"

"Yeah, love, we just got back from the gym, we might be walking Cooper when you get here, so just let yourself in."

"See you in a bit," she replied before the call ended leaving her to her thoughts as she made her way further down the 8, racing the setting sun to the coast.

It had been a long day at the dealership, she had dealt with more assholes than seemed fair for an 8 hour shift and needed a bit of a destresser before she went home, and there was no better place to go for that than her best friend's house.

Beca wasn't unhappy with her life, at least that was what she was busy telling herself as she rode towards downtown San Diego, it was just that perhaps she wasn't the happiest she could be. After all, this definitely wasn't the life she had expected for herself when she set out for California three years ago from Georgia with big dreams of chasing love, making music and becoming the next big music producer. But here she was at 21, still living in San Diego, with a steady job and steady bills. Not to mention the live in girlfriend and the kid she had inherited; in reality her life had taken a lot of unexpected turns. But that didn't mean she was unhappy, right?

"Right," she mumbled to herself out loud, hoping the audible response would chase away the uneasy thoughts resting in the front of her mind.

Before she knew it she had arrived at Stacie's house, a four story modern townhouse nestled in the shadow of the Coronado Bridge in downtown San Diego. Parking her bike on the street she climbed up the front steps pushing any thoughts of growing unhappiness out of her mind while she pressed the code into the lock pad on the door to let herself in.

She had barely closed the door behind her when she was slammed back into it, her face getting covered in a thick coat of slobber as a big wet tongue licked every inch of her face. "Hi, Cooper," she said happily, finally pushing the massive Doberman off her so she was back on all fours. The dog circled Beca excitedly before racing her up the stairs to the main level of the house, her big ears flopping with every step she took.

"Well hello there," Stacie smiled at Beca who had finally clambered to the top step a few seconds after Cooper, who was happily chewing her bone on the couch, and stepped into the kitchen. "Who died?" she asked, dropping the smile that she had previously worn and tilted her head to the side to closer examine the woman across from her.

Stacie had been Beca's best friend for two years, ever since Beca had first started at Bryan's. She was a few years older than Beca, was the manager of the finance department and was the reason Beca held her current position. Beside being one of the bitchiest people to work with, Stacie was the nicest person Beca knew and one of the most loyal and reliable. The older girl was lean, clearly she worked out every day of her life, was at least a head and a half taller than Beca, and in Beca's words "was too gorgeous for her own damn good." The two of them were practically inseparable and Beca had gratefully accepted her newest form of family all those years ago.

Beca rolled her eyes jokingly in response to Stacie's question. "Just what remained of my soul." She plopped herself into the bar stool across from Stacie and began to pet Cooper who had reappeared, shoving her head into Beca's lap. "Just a long day," she clarified so Stacie would quit frowning at her and resume making the two protein shakes in front of her. "Where's Steve?" she asked nodding to the second shake Stacie was making.

Steve was Stacie's boyfriend. Beca liked to call him Stacie's antidote to being a hoe, but Steve also sufficed for casual conversation. They had met at the height of Stacie's hoe days which came after failed marriage number two, something she owned with so much power that no one dare call her out on it, that is except for Beca. He worked on the oil rigs in South Dakota, so he spent two weeks away at a time before coming home for two weeks. Something that had caused their relationship to struggle for a year before finally taking off successfully. But now after 2 and a half years of on again off again they had decided to try to make it work.

"Upstairs. So what's wrong?" Stacie asked without missing a beat. She waited for Beca to respond, staring her down over the top of her drink.

"They're just all so dumb, Stace," Beca groaned, referencing the salesmen she had dealt with all day at Bryan's.

Stacie laughed in response, "So dumb," she echoed, agreeing that they were in fact some of the most idiotic people on the planet. "But you made money today?" she asked hopefully and pouting when Beca shook her head in response. "Well, you've got two days off, so no stress now, mama," she said soothingly, while reaching over the counter to pat Beca on the arm.

"No stress," Beca rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself as a man stomped down two flights of steps to join them in the kitchen. "Steven!" Beca got up to hug Steve, with some disapproval from Cooper who had been enjoying her head scratches. Steve was a muscular man with more tattoos than skin, while he looked like he wouldn't have a problem if a fight broke out his face was always covered with a crooked grin.

"What's up, B?" he asked after releasing her from a bone crushing hug. "Can I interest you in some killer queen?" He pulled a fresh joint from the pocket of his shorts and wiggled his eyebrows tantalizingly. Trust Steve to always have weed ready to go.

"Yes please," Beca accepted gratefully. The three of them moved together to the balcony off the living room that overlooked the city. Stacie shut the door behind her and nodded to Steve who promptly lit the end of his joint before taking a long drag and passing it to Beca.

The two of them watched her carefully as she pulled from the joint filling her lungs with smoke and puffing it out through her mouth a few seconds later. "What are you two staring at?" She asked passing the joint to Stacie after hitting it once more.

"You're sad Beca tonight," Steve commented lightly, looking to Stacie who was coughing heavily from the smoke, he patted her on the back and turned to face Beca again.

Beca sighed, it felt like she was beginning to sigh more in her day to day life than breathe. "I've just been thinking a lot lately...that I don't really know what I'm doing anymore-"

Stacie interrupted her to fill Steve in on what Beca was referencing, "Beca's not sure if she should remain in her relationship anymore, but she's having a hard time because while she knows that she does in fact love Dany, she's just not sure if she is IN love with her anymore."

Beca nodded her head and Stacie continued on, reciting like she had memorized Beca's predicament from a book. "She's also having a hard time because she's not sure if she is staying with her because she doesn't want to hurt her or because she really wants to make it work."

"But!" Stacie said this with a lot of force and Beca knew where it was going. She rolled her eyes and leaned on the balcony railing, resting her weight on her arms as she took in the city in front of her that was slowly fading into the night sky but was reappearing with lights burning brightly in windows. "I keep saying that if you even remotely feel like you shouldn't be with someone anymore then you just shouldn't be with them anymore."

Stacie stared pointedly at Beca who chose to ignore the comment and continue her staring.

"Well, she's right, Bec," Steve said after a moment, he passed Beca the joint one more time before speaking again. "The two of you have been through a lot together, but I don't think that's good enough reason to stay with her. You need to be happy and you've put a lot into this relationship that you haven't gotten back."

Beca stared at him pointedly for a second, "Okay, Steven," she said slowly. He chuckled at her knowing she was only feigning annoyance. "Look, I know that is true, but a part of me just can't let her go, I can't not wake up beside her, I can't just not have her in my life anymore."

For once Beca looked truly lost so Stacie spoke up, changing the subject to something that hopefully wouldn't cause Beca to go into a downward emotional spiral. "Where's Emily tonight?"

Beca blew a cloud of smoke out of her nose and turned around to fully rejoin the other two, "She's out with her friends tonight, they went to go see a movie so she'll be home later."

Emily was the kid she had taken in a year ago. When she had first moved to San Diego chasing a girl who wasn't really worth her time, Beca had met Emily's mom Katherine at an odd job she was working at the community center. The two of them quickly became friends and with Katherine came Emily her 13 year old daughter. When Beca and her ex split ways, she found herself without a home for a few weeks so Katherine and Emily took her in for a bit.

When she got back on her feet the three of them remained close. Katherine and Emily had no one but each other, and now they had Beca. It had come as a shock when a year and a half ago Katherine was diagnosed with cancer and even more of a surprise when less than six months later she passed away. Beca, not wanting to leave Emily alone with no family and with Katherine's blessing had began the adoption process a few weeks before Katherine passed. A few months later and for all legal purposes Beca was a mom to a teenager at the ripe old age of 20.

"How's all that going anyway:?" Steve asked.

"Pretty good. She's a great kid, honor roll and everything. And she just joined her high school's choir, so you could say I'm pretty proud."

"Proud mom moment," Stacie joked pretending to wipe tears from her eyes. Beca shoved her playfully before going back into the house. "You guys should come to Mt Laguna with us next weekend. Steve wants to try out his new ski helmet. And who knows maybe a mini vacay will be good for the three of you.''

"Yeah, Em, would like that-shit," Beca looked up at the clock and realized the time. "I got to go, I told Dany I was stuck at work a hour and a half ago." The three of them went back into the house, Beca grabbed her bag and her helmet, kissed Stacie on the cheek and hugged Steve. "I'll let you know about next weekend, but I'm sure it'll work out fine. I'll see you guys later," she called from halfway down the stairs, Cooper at her heels.

"Bye, love," she heard Stacie say before the front door closed on Cooper's snout.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two! Thanks for the follows, likes, and comments! I appreciate the feedback so feel free to give me more. Hope you enjoy! **

"You're home!" Beca was greeted at the door with gusto by a girl a few inches shorter than herself and a smile far wider than hers.

"Hi, love," Beca murmured back, clearly not matching the shorter girls enthusiasm for her arrival home.

However, Dany seemed not to notice as her bubbly personality continued to dominate the conversation. "I hate when they keep you late; it's the absolute worst. I just can't believe you guys allow customers to come in at the last minute and keep you from me for hours." She pouted for a second here, but before Beca could even begin to open her mouth and respond Dany had powered on, "And I know what you'll say," she threw up air quotes, "if there's a customer that wants to buy a $40,000 unit we're not going to say no."

She pulled Beca further into the house, continuously talking, toward their living room where a dog was sprawled out on the couch. "Luna!" Beca yelled, startling the dog right off the couch and onto the floor. Finally Dany stopped talking to laugh at the happy mutt who was now running over to see her mom. "You're not supposed to be on the couch, mama," Beca said to the dog who was standing on her hind legs to kiss her face.

"But she loves to cuddle with her most favorite mom," Dany whined, collapsing backward onto the couch and letting Luna jump back up with her.

Beca bit the inside of her mouth, deciding whether or not it was worth the fight. She closed her eyes tightly for a few seconds and pushed the annoyance out of her mind when she reopened them. Instead she decided to tackle a topic she had been wrestling back and forth with for awhile, "So I was thinking of getting my old mixing equipment back out again," she started tentatively.

The last time she brought up making music to Dany had resulted in one of the biggest fights they'd ever had. It wasn't that she didn't want Beca to succeed and live out her dreams, it was just that she would much rather Beca put her first before everything else in her life. Well, that might not be exactly what had been said, but to Beca she might as well have. So much to Beca's dismay all of her recording and DJ equipment had been packed up in boxes and placed in storage where it had remained for the past year and a half to no longer cause relationship problems.

Dany looked up at her suddenly, "Why?"

The look on her face was enough to make Beca start sweating. She gulped at air before sinking down on the couch beside her girlfriend. "Because I miss it," she stated plainly, "it's what I loved to do. It's what I wanted to do with my life, and I was good at it…" she trailed off when she saw the look on Dany's face grow even darker. "I don't know why it's an issu-"

"No one said it was an issue," the other girl said quickly. "I just don't understand why you're not happy."

Beca sighed and rubbed her hand over her face; it was always the same story, Beca would say something, Dany would hear what she wanted to and then get mad over something Beca hadn't even said. "Look," Beca began slowly, carefully planning each word she was going to say, "I didn't say I was unhappy, I said I wanted to make music again, and while your support would be appreciated it isn't necessary."

The last word was like a knife to Dany's chest. Beca watched as her eyes filled suddenly with tears, now she'd done it. "Dany, don't-"

"I don't understand how I'm not enough for you," she whimpered, fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill over. Her hands clasped together in her lap, a visual ball of anxiety. "I just don't get it, I do everything for you. I clean, I cook, I bring you lunch-"

"Dany, stop it," Beca said, suddenly standing up so she was looking down on the other girl. "I didn't say anything about any of that except that I want to fucking make music again-"

"Stop cussing at me," Dany cried, finally allowing the tears to pour over and run down her cheeks as she sniffled heavily.

Beca took a deep breath to calm herself. "I need you to understand that me wanting to make music has nothing to do with how much I love you, I literally don't see how it's an issue."

"Because it takes you away from me," she pouted.

"Jesus christ," Beca shook her head in disbelief, "Are you being serious right now?" Dany slowly nodded her head in response. "Dany, you have got to be kidding me," Beca gave her one more chance to retract her statement, but wasn't surprised to see Dany stare blankly back at her. "I need you to be okay with me being my own person. I cannot spend the rest of my life not doing what makes me happy because you think it takes me away from you!

"I need to be able to tell you things that I want to do with my life and you be supportive not turn it around to how it's going to make your life worse. I have put so many things to the side for you, Dany," it was all pouring out of her now, "but I'm done doing that. So you can say do great, Beca, or you can say nothing at all."

She was breathing heavily after her speech and felt lightheaded. Dany was looking up at her so shocked at what had just happened that she didn't seem capable of forming any sentences. Beca waited a full minute, giving Dany time to answer her, but was met only with silence.

"Alright then."

Without waiting for another response Beca turned around and stomped upstairs towards their bedroom, Luna following behind on her heels. Her mind was racing, this was what always happened and part of the reason she had so many problems with her girlfriend, this didn't feel like happiness to Beca. So how could it feel like happiness to Dany? They had spent so long together that it seemed impossible for them to be apart, but Beca was finding it harder and harder to be together.

She closed the door behind her, throwing herself and Luna into pitch black darkness before dropping down on the bed. Luna jumped up beside her, licking her face to give kisses that weren't wanted. "Luna, you're not even supposed to be up here," she said into the darkness. Luna snorted in response before curling up in a ball beside Beca. "Fine, no one listens to me."

Beca laid there for awhile longer, enjoying the sound of silence all around her before she pulled out her phone. It was 8:30. Emily was probably on her way home by now. She scrolled through her phone until she found Emily's name.

8:32pm: Hey are you on your way home?

She waited for a response, watching the three dots in the corner fade away and replace themselves with Emily's message.

8:32pm: Just around the corner. You alright?

8:33pm: Come to your room when you get home

Beca slid her phone in her back pocket and sat up in bed. It was still dark in her room and she could just barely make out Luna who was now sitting up beside her. "Shh," she held a finger up to Luna who's ears instantly perked up when Beca stood and grabbed a box under her night table.

She crept over to the door and slowly pushed it open, careful not to let it creek, Luna stood attentively at her side. From downstairs she could hear the sounds of parks and rec blaring from the tv, she pushed the door open the rest of the way so she could quietly make her way to Emily's room down the hall.

Emily's room was illuminated by the faint glow of fairy lights she had strung around her bed. Pictures and posters plastered the walls: Emily when she was much younger in the arms of her father, Emily and her mom laughing happily at Disneyland when she was a bit older, Emily and her mom cuddled together in her Mom's hospital bed a few weeks before she passed, and much more recently pictures of her and Beca and her friends were scattered throughout the room.

Beca paused at the one of Emily and her mom in the hospital, she felt a pain in her heart and reached out a hand to touch the frame. It had been hard on Emily when she lost her mom, Beca tried her best to make sure she had everything she needed but it was always a worry in the back of her mind that the teenager wasn't okay. Emily was strong though, she had a good head on her shoulders and she was always open and honest with Beca.

She sank down onto the pristenly made bed and continued to stare around the room, at least Emily was well organized, Beca never had to ask her to clean her room or help pick up around the house. Emily's guitar stood in the corner next to her piles of song books she had collected over the years, Beca smiled to herself, despite everything going on in her life Emily still tried her best to keep writing music and would bring new songs to Beca for her to critique every week or so.

Just then a cat shot out from under the bed and jumped onto Beca's lap purring excitedly at the human contact; Luna who had curled up in the corner picked her head up to watch. "How long have you been in here, Bellatrix?" Beca questioned as she scratched under the cats chin.

She purred louder in response before trying to eat Beca's watch. "Away with you devil woman," Beca said quietly tossing the cat on the ground and trying to keep her away despite her repeated attempts to come back, for more scratches or to try to eat her bracelets again Beca didn't know.

Deciding that Emily would be along in a few minutes she opened up the box beside her and began sifting through its contents. She pulled out a handful of prerolls and carefully selected the one she wanted before walking to the window and throwing it open. The sounds of nightlife in San Diego swam through the open window, cars zooming by and the occasional loud boom and cheer from the stadium which was right down the road.

Beca leaned against the window sill and looked down at the little street below her before lighting her joint and inhaling deeply. She laid back down on the bed, her head at the foot facing the door, smoking occasionally. She didn't stop the cat when she jumped up once again and curled up on her chest. Content to just be near Beca.

Just as she was starting to think Emily had gotten lost the bedroom door opened and a tall lanky teenager appeared. She stared uncertainly at the scene in front of her for a few seconds before she spoke.

"Am I in trouble?"

Beca threw the cat off her chest and righted herself on the bed, "why would you be in trouble?"

She took another pull from the joint and blew the smoke toward Emily who was now looking a little more calm.

"Well, I don't know, Beca, you say go to my room with no explanation. You got a girl freaking out," she joked joining Beca on her bed. "So don't do that," she stated holding her hand out for the joint.

"May I see your ID please," Beca responded sarcastically holding it just out of Emily's reach. The death stare she got was a valid enough form of ID for her so she passed it to the younger girl. "What took so long anyway?"

"Your girlfriend is downstairs crying," Emily said between coughs before she pushed the joint back to Beca. "I was checking on her so at least one of us was." Beca rolled her eyes in response, "What happened this time?"

"I said I wanted to make music again, and she took that as me saying she wasn't enough to make me happy," Beca said heavily. Emily groaned and laid back on her bed to stare at the ceiling.

The two of them spent the next hour smoking more weed than was necessary and talking through Beca's relationship issues, a topic that was well worn between the two of them. Beca took another drag from the joint she was holding and blew the smoke into rings across the room as her stomach growled loudly. "Have you eaten?"

"No, but I'm starving."

"Burritos?" Beca asked standing up with a stretch.

"Should we ask Dany if she wants to come?" Emily said from the bed, Beca groaned loudly, "Or I can ask her...I just think it would be a dick move to not."

"Fine," Beca said shortly, opening the bedroom door and stomping down the hall with Bellatrix, Luna, and Emily trailing behind her.

They arrived in the living room to find Dany passed out on the couch with leftover take out in front of her. Beca looked pointedly at Emily before scribbling a note to Dany that they were leaving to get food and then grabbed her keys off the hook by the door.

"So what have you been up to lately, kid?" Beca questioned through a mouthful of burrito.

They were sitting in the trunk of her 4runner overlooking the ocean at sunset cliffs. It was dark except for the lights in Beca's car, the ocean crashed loudly 20 feet below them but couldn't be seen in the night. Sunset cliffs had been Emily and Beca's favorite place to come relax since they had first met.

"Well," Emil started through her burrito, "Tuesday I go back into the DMV for my drivers test-"

"And you will pass it this time?" Beca questioned jokingly.

"You're an asshole," she shoved Beca playfully before adding, "Yes, I'll pass it this time. Fourth time's the charm! Then I need to go get my books for summer reading-"

"Its June, why are you doing summer reading right now...you've got the whole...summer."

"Because some of us want to achieve greatness their junior year of high school! Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," she glared at Beca here who promptly threw her hands in the air feigning innocence. "Some of the girls from choir want to meet to go over setlists for next year, but I think I'm gonna dip, they want to do it on my mom's anniversary and I think I'm just gonna skip out…" she trailed off into silence, deciding to look at the moon over the water instead of continuing to talk.

Beca sat up straighter and put her burrito down, she didn't know how she could have forgotten, the first anniversary of Katherine's death was coming up. Of course Emily was rightfully upset over it. She pulled the younger girl to her side and let her put her head on her shoulder. The two sat in comfortable silence for awhile, neither really knowing how to continue on the current subject.

"You know you can always-"

"Don't hit me with that gay shit, Beca," Emily said picking her head up off Beca's shoulder. "I know. And I do always come to you. You know it all." She ended simply, dropping her head back onto Beca's shoulder.

"I just want you to be okay."

"I am, it's just sad sometimes. That's all. But same to you," she turned her head to fix Beca with a piercing look. "You need to be happy, Bec."

Beca sighed in response, "I'm trying. I think I really do want to start trying to make music again."

"You should! You can help me with my songs like you used to then," Emily beamed at her and Beca felt her heart tug. She really did love this kid. And even though their situation wasn't typical she was thankful for the nerdy goofball of a teenager being in her life.

"I'd love to-Oh, I just remembered Stace and Steve want to go to Mt Laguna next weekend to go skiing so make sure you're not working."

"Beca, its June," Emily retorted with the same dry tone Beca had used on her earlier.

"Artificial snow baby," Beca said happily. "It'll be fun and you're not getting out of it so don't even try to."

"Is Dany going?" Emily asked curiously.

Beca glowered at the horizon she could just barely make out miles from shore thinking to herself that she really hoped not.


End file.
